Giving and receiving

I have been thinking about the relationship between giving and receiving a lot lately, mostly because of the emphasis on both during the Christmas season. All of the typical thoughts have passed through my mind. I thought about the scripture in Acts 20:35 where Paul quotes the Savior:

I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.

The interesting thing about this quote is that nowhere in the four gospels or in Acts can we find the Savior saying that himself. Not that I doubt Paul’s veracity, but I can’t help but wonder if there were more of the Savior’s words on this subject that Paul did not record. The relationship between giving and receiving seems to me to be very complex. People often misinterpret Paul’s quotation and assume that receiving gifts or assistance from others is somehow bad. The Savior, in my mind, simply meant that the gospel is founded, based, and grounded on service to others. But the fact is, every motivated giver needs a gracious receiver. At some time in our lives, every one of us will need help from someone else. We certainly need help and assistance from our Savior every day of our lives.

The word “receive” appears hundreds of times in the scriptures, very often in connection with receiving spiritual and temporal blessings from the Lord: receiving the greatest gift of all, the atonement, or receiving the gift of eternal life, or receiving gifts of the spirit, or receiving the gift of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost. So we are all receivers of the good gifts of our Father-in-Heaven and His Son. Mosiah 4:19 identifies our relative position with Deity:

For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind?

If we cannot graciously and humbly receive, we cannot receive the wonderful gift of the atonement that our Father in-Heaven and his Son offer us. So learning to receive is as important as learning to give.

I think that the Lord’s words about the act of giving are meant to help us understand both the great gifts He gives to us daily and to understand the true nature of the gospel of service to others that we embrace. Elder Neal A. Maxwell, in his book, Wherefore, Ye Must Press Forward, says:

“We learn about giving only by giving, and so it is also with receiving.”

I think that we really cannot learn to give selflessly until we have received of others. Little children whose eyes glow with anticipation for days before Christmas, and who receive the gifts parents, grandparents and friends offer them then want to give to others in the same way. They learn at a very tender age the joy of giving because others have given to them. I think that they learn to give with joy by experiencing the joy of receiving. Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin said:

“…beginning around the first of December the days progressively seem to be marked with anticipation toward Christmas Day. Young children, he explained, look forward to receiving gifts and as they grow older anticipate giving gifts."

In his book, Dictionary of the Bible, William Smith tells us:

“[In ancient Israel] The refusal of a present was regarded as a high indignity. No less an insult was it not to bring a present when the position of the parties demanded it. “

In Doctrine and Covenants 88:33, we read:

“For what doth it profit a man if a gift is bestowed upon him, and he receive not the gift? Behold, he rejoices not in that which is given unto him, neither rejoices in him who is the giver of the gift.”

Again quoting Elder Neal A. Maxwell, in his book, Wherefore, Ye Must Press Forward:

“In the Church we get experience both as leaders and as followers, as givers and as takers. Therefore, one of the other important skills we each need to develop is the skill of receiving. George MacDonald reminded us that ‘we must accept righteous sacrifices as well as make them.’ We must be willing to receive from others, just as we count on their receiving what we have to offer.”

There is no more gracious receiver, and no more selfless giver than a parent or grandparent who receives a refrigerator-worthy creation from a young child. In this, as in many other things, little children set the example for all of us.

So at this Christmas season, let us give and receive gratefully and without guile. Let us remember, as President Milton R. Hunter so aptly expresses, the boundless gifts our Father-in-Heaven has given us:

“Our Eternal Father, through the Messiah, offers us the gospel plan of salvation with its atonement from sin, death and the grave. The Lord gives us the air we breathe from day to day, the food and water we consume, the gold, silver, clothing, homes, farms, businesses, and all worldly possessions which we so proudly claim. Yes, our health, our strength, and our very lives are in God's hands.