The Fellowship of His Suffering

Elder Neal A, Maxwell, in his book, All These Things Shall Give Thee Experience, has a chapter called “The Fellowship of His Sufferings.” The title is taken from Philippians 3:10:

That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings …

In that chapter, Elder Maxwell points out that only through our own sufferings in this life can we begin to understand the infinite atonement when Christ bore our griefs and carried our sorrows: (Isaiah 53:4). He has descended below all and risen above all – we can join with Him in eternal fellowship only as we too suffer, in infinitely smaller measure, the trials of mortality.

Mortality offers wonderful earthly pleasures and many eternal joys. It can also carry with it great pain and sorrow. The joys can and will endure for eternity, but the pains and sorrows of mortality are relieved when we depart this earth.

Some joys are eternal, and in fact, often only happen only once in eternity. The birth of a baby, a father blessing a baby, a child baptized by an older brother and confirmed by a loving father and grandfather; Sending a young man or woman off to a foreign country to serve a mission, a temple sealing, and watching the cycle repeat itself, are all eternal joys.

Some joys are more mortal but no less poignant. Perhaps, in fact, they are eternal too: hearing a child read scripture and seeing understanding begin, graduation from Primary, a sweet hug for grandparents, flowers on graves, watching a son pass the sacrament, watching a daughter receive her young womanhood award, family histories and genealogy, eternal commitment and the love of a spouse, service to others, helping someone find the truth of the gospel, Thanksgiving dinner with the whole family present.

The trouble with many of these joys is that the Lord often tempers them with trials. Thanksgiving may be both painful and joyful when some are not present due to choices or death, Memorial Day flowers on ancestors’ graves may bring remembrance of suffering and death.

Why is this so? Why must we suffer in this life? If God really loves us, why does He not make things easy for us? Why are we afflicted with trials and tribulations? Why does God not simply bless us with the joys and happinesses of life and take away the sorrows and pains? He certainly has the power to do so, yet we suffer. C. S. Lewis answered that question when he said:

Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently, He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of—throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. (Mere Christianity [New York: Macmillan, 1960], p. 174.)

Malcolm Muggeridge said:

The essential feature, and necessity of life, is to know reality, which means knowing God. Otherwise our mortal existence is, as Saint Teresa of Avila said, no more than a night in a second-class hotel. ("The Great Liberal Death Wish," Imprimis, May 1979, Hillsdale College, Michigan.)

“Knowing reality” involves training and shaping, building and changing. Trials and problems in this life, at least those we do not create for ourselves, are administered by the Lord for our eternal benefit and growth. Easily said, but often hardly endured. Trust in the Lord is often the only path we can take to relief from such suffering.
Elder Neal A. Maxwell, in his book, If Thou Endure It Well, said:

Will we, too, trust the Lord amid a perplexing trial for which we have no easy explanation? Do we understand –really comprehend – that Jesus knows and understands when we are stressed and perplexed? The complete consecration which effected the Atonement ensured Jesus' perfect empathy; He felt our very pains and afflictions before we did and knows how to succor us (see Alma 7:11-12; 2 Nephi 9:21). Since the most innocent one suffered the most, our own cries of "Why?" cannot match His. But we can utter the same, submissive word: "Nevertheless . . ." (Matthew 26:39).
Progression toward submission confers another blessing: an enhanced capacity for joy. Counseled President Brigham Young, "If you want to enjoy exquisitely, become a Latter-day Saint, and then live the doctrine of Jesus Christ."

In summary, another quote from Elder Maxwell’s book, All These Things Shall Give Thee Experience, gives us further insight:

The Lord has said, "I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." (Isaiah 48:10; 1 Nephi 20:10) …We need, therefore, the refining that God gives to us, though we do not seek or crave such tribulation…
This mortal life could not be a "first class" experience if we did not encounter some "first class" challenges as measured out by an all-wise God who is perfect in His love for us. Nor can we expect to pass through this mortal experience without having relevant experiences in learning to love others by serving them. We could not learn love in the abstract any more than we could learn patience and the other cardinal virtues. Just as we cannot know the "fellowship of his sufferings" without suffering, we also come to know real fellowship with our fellowmen only by serving them.

As a loving eternal parent, God will stretch our souls at times. If we would fellowship with the Lord and his sufferings, we must, just as the Lord did, accept the tests and trials that the Lord inflicts upon us, and as Elder Maxwell suggests, utter that same word, “Nevertheless…