Measuring real success

Whether things seem to be going fairly smoothly for us at the moment or not, I think we can be sure that our trials in this life are not yet over. I think we can be sure that the Lord does love us, knows each of us by name, sorrows at our sadnesses, and rejoices with us when we are successful. He knows of our progress toward our eternal goal. He cheers us when we move upward, and mourns when we fail. He is pleased when we take advantage of His transcendent atonement and repent, because He has already suffered for all our sins and trials. He knows that we can achieve the eternal goal, and when we have done all we can do, His grace is sufficient for us( 2 Nephi 25:23).

At times of trial we tend to withdraw within ourselves. We tend to forget that others are eager to support and help us. We tend to forget that the Savior will always be close if we will let him. We worry about our life and try to decide if we have been a success or a failure, and we always come down hard on ourselves about bad decisions in our professional, personal, family, and spiritual lives.

It’s like when we wake up at 0300 and can’t go back to sleep – we go through every failing and problem we have ever had and they are magnified tenfold in our minds. Satan is aware of us, especially when we are trying to live the gospel to the best of our ability. It is he and his minions who plant these thoughts in our minds in the dead of night. He does his best to convince us that we have no worth, and exaltation is beyond our reach. In the light of a new day Satan’s influence is lessened. We can put our concerns in proper perspective and can evaluate them more logically as we think spiritually and eternally rather than emotionally about our lives.

With regard to what we do to earn our daily bread: It is my opinion that our “work” is not the “real” world. I work to live – I do not live to work. What happens outside the workplace in our personal and spiritual lives is the “real” eternal world and is probably a much better measure of success than what we do on the job or the decisions we make concerning work. So give your best at your job and afterwards, and be satisfied that you have done so regardless of the opinions of others. I love this quote:

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success."

Bessie Stanley (not Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Notice that Sister Stanley (I refer to her in this way even though she is not a member of the Church, because she captures the spirit of the gospel of service) identifies the “small” things we do every day as most important. It’s not huge successes that matter for us. To be immortal in the eyes of the world is unimportant (and also Satan’s counterfeit). On the other hand, to be remembered by the recipients of our love and service is a natural and proper outcome (the Father’s plan). To Sister Stanley’s quote I would add one from Elder Packer about the path to exaltation that is most important to us.

“When you come to the temple and receive your endowment, and kneel at the altar and be sealed, you can live an ordinary life and be an ordinary soul -- struggling against temptation, failing and repenting, and failing again and repenting, but always determined to keep your covenants. ... Then the day will come when you will receive the benediction: "Well done thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things, Enter thou into the Joy of thy Lord." (Matthew 25:21)

It’s comforting to think that, as President Howard Hunter said, “perfection is something yet ahead for every one of us.” I don’t wish to contradict an Apostle of the Lord, but may I respectfully point out that “ordinary” is a mortal measurement of success? None of us is “ordinary” in an eternal sense. In the eyes of our Father in Heaven and our Elder Brother, each of us is an eternal being, capable of returning to live eternally with them with all of the glorious blessings that eternal life and exaltation brings.

Most of us will never have the opportunity to make a mark in the mortal world outside our own families. We will probably never be a Shakespeare or Miss America (can you name the last 5 Miss Americas?) so it’s what we do for those around us, in our families, our church, and our community that is, as Sister Stanley said: “the meaning of success” both temporally and spiritually. When service is added to understanding of the gospel and a desire to live in our Father’s presence eternally, then success as Sister Stanley describes it becomes sublime, spiritual and eternal.

Measure your successes by the contributions you make to those things on Sister Stanley’s list and your eternal priorities, rather than whether or not you make a splash in the world.

You are good people. Don’t give in to the personal demons that beset us all in the dark of the night. Keep an eternal perspective. President Hinckley said:

“The Lord would want you to be successful. He would. You are His sons and His daughters. He has the same kind of love and ambition for you that your earthly parents have. They want you to do well and you can do it.”